Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
