What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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