she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize