People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
