those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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