I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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