You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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