I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize