So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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