Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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