I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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