Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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