there's paper in my vomit.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize