How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
