What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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