Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
