Sponge bath it is.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
