I'm gonna have a badass scar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
