Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize