he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize