Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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