dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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