Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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