Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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