I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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I stole a fireplace last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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