Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
