Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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