Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize