Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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