I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
