hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
