Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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