I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Did I show you my penis last night?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
