he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize