i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im just a social blackout drinker.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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