I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
