I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
