Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
