I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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