i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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