I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
