Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize