I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
