if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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