Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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