Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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