like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize