so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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