no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
PANTIES FOUND
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize