problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
