You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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