mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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