I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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