And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
