It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
