I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
