ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize