Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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