i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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