I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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