I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
